boring weeks... i wunt elaborate on what happened this few days because it's definitely not a good week for me.. sometime i really wonder , will she remember me for who i am? frankly speaking , i cant forget her... even for so long i am still missing her.. i guess she is the only one that makes me feel so crazy over her for so long... i noe it's foolish but i cant deny that i love her. sometime i really hoped that i could hug her tightly like how i used to hug her in the past.. whenever she cry , my shoulder will be there for her.. i love the feeling... i love everything about her and i love to be with her. but i know that it is impossible now.. afterall , it's going to be year 2010... everything is gonna change ....
can u imagine every night before i sleep , i will think of you? you will not be able to imagine it because i dun look like the type of person who will do that... but the fact is i really did think of you... i was wondering where are you.. where have you been and how is your life... i just want to know.. no matter what i try to find or contact you , i just could not find your information.. i am sorry for the past .. i really want to say this to you... for so many years , this is the stuff that really makes me feel rather guilty... i have never really told anyone how i really feel becos i do not want to let ppl see another soul of me..
~~ bye bye
~~ bye bye
2 more weeks to holidays but i dun feel the joy =( there will be test next week but i just feel that i got no confidence in it. i need some motivation! anyway , today was going to buy ps3 but my mum called me and say that she will accompany me to buy it in around 2 weeks time and ask me to wait for 2 more weeks... of cuz i agree. becos i do not have to pay! hahah... but i love ps3 graphic ... it's ****ing awesome! i jus hope that 2 weeks will pass and my holidays will arrive =)
~~ should i call her?
~~ should i call her?
the holidays are coming.. i am excited mainly because i am going oversea for my holidays... well , i would say that school life is so boring... but definitely it will benefit us in all aspect... be it working life or for our own knowledge.. this few days i have been thinking a lot of things... i am thinking of the past ... the things that i had done that hurt her... i cant help but to feel guilty.. until now , i have never forgot about it... we lost contact with each other and i believe that she hate me to the core now... this is fate.. while typing this , my eyes are going to close anytime.. i am sitting on my bed while writing ... it's been so long since i really sit down and think about all the important things that i am going to handle.. no matter what , i will do what i sld be doing in school and hope that this world will stay peaceful forever...
~~ what do i really want??
~~ what do i really want??
i am kind of lost ... its not becos i am feeling emo or whatever.. i jus feel that the way i think , the way i feel is really different from the past... in the past , i will always tell myself that i will do well in something but i wunt go until the extent of spending my whole time doing it over and over again.. but now , its totally different... this few week there are lot of tests... i told myself that i wunt give myself too much stress but eventually i am still stress up over my school work.. however , i feel that all the things that i had done is definitely worth it.. taking for example this week's test , i did quite well and i am really glad... i want to continue this way.. i wan to do well in it and everything in life... but i am afraid that this mindset will actually affect my relationship with my friends.. i believe that some of them might be thinking why sld i go until this extent?? they are not me.. they do not know how i feel.. maybe what i did is wrong.. but definitely getting gd results and being excellent in everything is what i really hope for... i just wish that the people around me will understand me and giving me some time to stay alone.
~~ i miss her
~~ i miss her
