i wonder what kind of life is suitable for me. am i asking for too much? or did i just overreact?
i duno whether i did the right thing.. all i know is i feel tired. i feel numb. when i tried to change , it's all too late . what can i do you tell me?
ups and downs.. but i am still happy with everything =) baby you promise me those things you must do it ok. i promise you i will do it . no matter what i still love you ;)
sometime i have the urge to ... its really hard to control what you are thinking when u are at the end of some road. you dont feel perfect anymore. you feel like you have lost . that's how i am feeling now. i dont lose to anyone but myself. i have lost to myself . the only thing i could do is to overcome it. but i do not have the energy anymore to deal with all sort of problem because i know time will not be enough . what i should do is to make use of the remaining time and accomplish what i have to do. maybe the fortune teller was right. i should not be so stubborn . i should not treat as everything that belongs to me must be mine forever. but i just cant help but feeling numb over what has happened . on the surface i am fine . but deep inside my heart , i have already feel the pain to the extend of keeping quiet and pretend as nothing has happened. is that really me ? i dont think so.
time flies. it's been 3 weeks since i start school. what can i say about school ? nothing much just that it allow me to focus on something instead of thinking about other stuff.. sometime i feel so numb when i am trying to do my work because it just feel like i am not doing the work for myself instead i am doing it the purpose of "finishing " it. i should not have this type of attitude but i guess that's me . you know its hard to change a person's mindset. this few days were still considered relaxing and not much stress .. i know i can deal with it. i am not worrying about school stuff because i know if i spend more time on it , i will be able to do. i just somehow feel like something is missing. i could not explain what is that "something " but my feeling tells me that something is going to happen or am i thinking too much? i hope it's not true. anyway , just came back from playing pool and i am really very tired now. baby is sleeping now and i believe she must be enjoying herself in the lala land :X tomoro is a public holidays and i guess i will be going out because every weekends is the time for to relax and do my stuff.. to be honest , this kind of life is boring. but what to do ? this is life! i dont even know what humans are living for lol. work study play and ? seriously there's limited amount of things human can do . people say meaningful life but playing and working is a meaningful life ??? i dont think so .. i think i need some fresh air or even some ocean and sea to make me feel that the world is actually very beautiful. i love the kind of feeling when u look into the sea and you can hear the waving sound. it just feel soooo peaceful. to end this post meaningfully , i am going to tell baby , I LOVE YOU :) wake up reply my sms ! i am going to sleep now. good night ^^
ohh i am really shocked to heard about this republic poly students being slash several time and eventually he died. this is a really sad case because he is still so young! i wonder what has this world come to ??? i think youth should spend their time on meaningful stuff like studying , earning money , spending more time with your love one and even your friends. in fact , youth should really enjoy their life now as they are not as stress as those adults who are working from day to night . seriously , think before you do! it's not worth it and i dont think those gangster are hero or cool. we must be zai! money! anyway i have finish my tutorials for the upcoming weeks and i thinking of what tutorials to do since i got the time.. i just bought a prepaid card so as to ensure that my bill will not exceed again as my mum will be helping me to pay it for the last time. so sorry! ;( baby wanted me to update my blog so i am here to write some rubbish! i miss you do u know that? i know u will read it when u are in school lab! remember to tag me ok ? i love you muacks. baby let's wait for wed to come so that our wish will come true hahahaha! we both are crazy! study hard ohh dont keep use computer and come to my blog hahaha!
quan ~ 10:28 pm
