quan's world

sometime i have the urge to ... its really hard to control what you are thinking when u are at the end of some road. you dont feel perfect anymore. you feel like you have lost . that's how i am feeling now. i dont lose to anyone but myself. i have lost to myself . the only thing i could do is to overcome it. but i do not have the energy anymore to deal with all sort of problem because i know time will not be enough . what i should do is to make use of the remaining time and accomplish what i have to do. maybe the fortune teller was right. i should not be so stubborn . i should not treat as everything that belongs to me must be mine forever. but i just cant help but feeling numb over what has happened . on the surface i am fine . but deep inside my heart , i have already feel the pain to the extend of keeping quiet and pretend as nothing has happened. is that really me ? i dont think so.