hello hello.. it's been ages since i last update my blog.. as what my gf ask me to do. UPDATE! ok so here i am ... this few days were really really busy... many many things to do... but the good thing is that holiday is just 3 weeks away! i really cant wait for it... next week is a more intensive week for me.. but i believe i can overcome it ;) anyway baby i love you..! my blog song is the song that represent my love for you. my only love! ;) hahahas. study hard for exam ok??? holidays we will have more chance to spend more time with each other hahahah. recently my mum has been really really gd to me.. i really feel fortunate ;) ahahahhha. i need to get back to work.. off i go. gd luck to everyone ;)
i duno whether i did the right thing.. all i know is i feel tired. i feel numb. when i tried to change , it's all too late . what can i do you tell me?
ups and downs.. but i am still happy with everything =) baby you promise me those things you must do it ok. i promise you i will do it . no matter what i still love you ;)
sometime i have the urge to ... its really hard to control what you are thinking when u are at the end of some road. you dont feel perfect anymore. you feel like you have lost . that's how i am feeling now. i dont lose to anyone but myself. i have lost to myself . the only thing i could do is to overcome it. but i do not have the energy anymore to deal with all sort of problem because i know time will not be enough . what i should do is to make use of the remaining time and accomplish what i have to do. maybe the fortune teller was right. i should not be so stubborn . i should not treat as everything that belongs to me must be mine forever. but i just cant help but feeling numb over what has happened . on the surface i am fine . but deep inside my heart , i have already feel the pain to the extend of keeping quiet and pretend as nothing has happened. is that really me ? i dont think so.
time flies. it's been 3 weeks since i start school. what can i say about school ? nothing much just that it allow me to focus on something instead of thinking about other stuff.. sometime i feel so numb when i am trying to do my work because it just feel like i am not doing the work for myself instead i am doing it the purpose of "finishing " it. i should not have this type of attitude but i guess that's me . you know its hard to change a person's mindset. this few days were still considered relaxing and not much stress .. i know i can deal with it. i am not worrying about school stuff because i know if i spend more time on it , i will be able to do. i just somehow feel like something is missing. i could not explain what is that "something " but my feeling tells me that something is going to happen or am i thinking too much? i hope it's not true. anyway , just came back from playing pool and i am really very tired now. baby is sleeping now and i believe she must be enjoying herself in the lala land :X tomoro is a public holidays and i guess i will be going out because every weekends is the time for to relax and do my stuff.. to be honest , this kind of life is boring. but what to do ? this is life! i dont even know what humans are living for lol. work study play and ? seriously there's limited amount of things human can do . people say meaningful life but playing and working is a meaningful life ??? i dont think so .. i think i need some fresh air or even some ocean and sea to make me feel that the world is actually very beautiful. i love the kind of feeling when u look into the sea and you can hear the waving sound. it just feel soooo peaceful. to end this post meaningfully , i am going to tell baby , I LOVE YOU :) wake up reply my sms ! i am going to sleep now. good night ^^
ohh i am really shocked to heard about this republic poly students being slash several time and eventually he died. this is a really sad case because he is still so young! i wonder what has this world come to ??? i think youth should spend their time on meaningful stuff like studying , earning money , spending more time with your love one and even your friends. in fact , youth should really enjoy their life now as they are not as stress as those adults who are working from day to night . seriously , think before you do! it's not worth it and i dont think those gangster are hero or cool. we must be zai! money! anyway i have finish my tutorials for the upcoming weeks and i thinking of what tutorials to do since i got the time.. i just bought a prepaid card so as to ensure that my bill will not exceed again as my mum will be helping me to pay it for the last time. so sorry! ;( baby wanted me to update my blog so i am here to write some rubbish! i miss you do u know that? i know u will read it when u are in school lab! remember to tag me ok ? i love you muacks. baby let's wait for wed to come so that our wish will come true hahahaha! we both are crazy! study hard ohh dont keep use computer and come to my blog hahaha!
quan ~ 10:28 pm
this few days when i am brushing my teeth or washing my mouth there will always be blood .. i really wonder what is wrong.. i dont feel pain but it just keep bleeding.. arrr. i am really tired now.. finally a rest for me now because i am back home ! feel so tired yet worth it. i dont feel good this few days because i am sick + so many things running through my mind. i wonder what is the best for me. hai.
oh so great.. sick for 2 days... i didnt know that i will fall sick at this period of time.. i was still eating snack last few days.. now i know why mum ask me not to eat too much snack lol! currently downloading all the work for the coming weeks so that all my answer can be input into the laptop instead of finding through the notes and i think it's neater. i feel so lost suddenly arrr.. but i am feeling much better now.. just that my flu just wunt go away ;( seriously my nose is way too sensitive and i cant really breathe during the haze period .. ! sorry if this few days i did not reply your sms because i have my reason haha.. currently waiting for mac to come!! i am so damn hungry right now.. i am going to reward myself with mac although i am sick hahaha . i hope it wont get worst because i have to go school tomoro ! baby is still have lessons in school and i guess i should not disturb her by keep smsing her. she should focus focus focus instead of sms sms sms ! i love her so i should not be so selfish.. =) love you ohhh baby ~~ i know one day u will come and read it lol.
if u ask me if i were to be given 1 wish , what would i hope for.. my answer is to move to other country and lead my peaceful life.. no special reason for it . i just like to be a carefree person.. it would be even better if i could go there with baby so that only we 2 live together and lead the kind of life we want until the day i die without any regret. people might say what i did is not worth it .. to be honest , i dont really care what others say . i do what i like . if being human has to worry about so many stuff , den what is the use of living a meaning life right? whatever i do is for myself .. or maybe should i say since i was young , as long as i want to get something i can get it ... i have good parent i cant deny it. i will never forget . but what i want is to do what i like and be a cheerful person.. why should we care about what others say? you live for yourself come on! to be honest , i dont really trust anyone even until today. i trust myself i believe in myself. that's what i am make of. i believe god will lead everyone to the right path . for me ? it depend on myself! yes i do study in school but i am not that kind of person who will be so hardcore to chiong study or whatever . people around me know that i am those kind of "slacker " because i dont really focus in school as i will be doing other thing. this is me! the way i study is different from people i have my own method and ways to study . i dont like to suck up to the lecturer or so on. to be honest , i dont think many things taught in school can be applied on our working area other than the thinking part. many things involve your action and the way u express yourself in front of the customer. i believe if you are sincere , anyone will accept you . so to me i still have to study but i wont go until to the extend of chionging . i remember my uncle once told me that person who is very good in studying does not mean they will earn lot of $$ .. however , people who are not really good in studying does not mean they cant earn as much $$ as those who has very good result. it's all about your target your goal and action. everyone can do it but it depend on how well you understand what you really "Want" . this will be a very long post because i got many many thoughts in my mind and i need to write it out so that i will feel better ;) to my baby , sorry for making you angry just now oh. i dont mean it .. tomoro i am going to see you and i will show you that i really love you :D
just came home not long ago from school.. all i can say is tue suck! because it's until 6pm! oh my god by the time i get home and bath it will be around 7pm... but the good thing is i can actually focus on something and try my best on it... i think it's kind of meaningful to focus on work instead of other stuff.. BUT , it does not mean that i like to do work :( anyway it's part of life , i am just doing what i should be doing and i dont really like to compare with others . that's me. one more thing to take note of is to save money! i have been spending on many stuff last few weeks and even on school notes all this. i am paying by myself for this few weeks expenses. i guess i should really stop spending and really control what i am buying. i miss baby... i am still smsing with her ... she is coming to find me on fri and i am looking forward to see her =) even just a minute or two , i will still feel happy because i love her =) i will get to sleep early tonight because i am really really tired and tomoro i have to go back school! cyas. love you baby!
ahhhh.. tomoro school reopen le! i feel really emo now because i have not enjoyed enough! spend my last day of holidays with baby.. she keep hold onto me and dont want to let go because she is afraid i will be very busy in school lol.. well , no matter how busy i will try my best to spare some time for you ok my dear? i am eating pizza now before i am off to sleep.. a tiring day yet a fun and memorable day. i wish that time could stop at this moment so that nth can separate us .. well , we still have to face the fact. life goes on. let's try our best ok?? i really look forward to the next holidays!
~~ u told me u want to be with me forever , i will change for you ~~
oh my god.. i am getting emo this few days because school is starting soon! everyone including those o level students just finished their o level i guess and they must be having a great time! i still remember the kind of feeling that i felt when i finish the last mcq paper which was chemistry if i am not wrong. i really miss secondary school life ;( whatever it is , i should face it and look forward to a new start on monday :( baby is sleeping now after texting her. i am going to sleep too because i woke up very early this morning. i should get a rest. love you baby sweet dream. sorry baby below is a pic of you blushing LOL. see the cute red ear :X
if i could , i will keep everything that belongs to me in my pocket so that no one can steal it away :X i know it's impossible but i am just saying IF . although IF should not even exist as a word. baby wanted me to update this blog .. i update this blog for you. are you touched?? hahaha don laugh ok. spend whole day with baby because she was dismiss early from sch.. i am getting more stress because when sch start , i will be quite busy and i am trying to find sometime to accompany baby =( Baby dun worry about me going back to sch ok hahaha. i promise you those stuff i will do it and i wont break the promises de. just made my new spec and i guess i should be able to get it by tomoro night? hopefully i can get it and return to sch with a fresh start ^^^ all the best for everyone. lastly , baby i love you from the bottom of my heart :)
~~ i wonder , i wonder
~~ i wonder , i wonder
gonna make this blog alive so i am back here . apart from reviving this blog , my baby want to see if i did spend some time to update this boring space. to be honest , i like this place because i can express how i am feeling because i am not used to explain to them how i feel . so ya ^^ school is starting and i am so NOT looking forward to it .. i still remember 1 month ago i was still so excited because i have just finished my exam ... time really flies. everything seem to be moving so quickly and i am going to be back to school in 3 days time ;( baby is worried about me going back to sch because she is afraid of... hahaha you know you know ^^ dont worry it wont happen =) i should seriously take some time and plan out my future. i am getting older and older every year and one day i will become an old man. i should really treasure the time that i have now since i am still young :X i miss baby right now.. going to meet her later and i bet she is missing me right now because i am sneezing hahaha. just jailbreak my iphone and i kinda like the new look now. ^^
baby i said that this post will be for you. tomoro your school will be starting and i know u are sad that we might not have as much chance to meet like now. but trust me , i said i love you and i mean it. dont be scare because the things that you are scare of will never happen. the past is the past. you are what i see in the future. i want u to study hard not only for me but for yourself. i will be proud of you if you can do well in sch. as for me , i will always be there to support you and to listen to you. just hang up the phone and now i am writing this for you. one day when u see this , you will know that i am no longer like the past. all the past are history and will never repeat again. all i want to do now is to do well in my stuff , and to love you with all my heart . i want to live without any regret so i am treasuring what i have now. in the past i always said but i never do it. but now it's totally different. i am older now and i know what is important to me. you are the one i truly love my dear. study hard!
quan ^^
quan ^^
i will treasure those time that we had. really. i know you are afraid but trust me i will treasure you no mattter what because you really did a lot for me. i love you =) enjoyed myself every time i am with you ^^
i just want to treat you well thats all. why cant u just understand me? the most i could do is numb myself and doing things that i normally dont do it.. should i go until this extent?
mixed feeling today! happy that i get to spend more time with you :) the bad thing is because of my iphone again arrrr.. cant imagine myself to drop it again.. never ever! i am so gonna be more careful ... i feel guilty because my mum is coming up with the $$ for repairment but i am not going to do so unless i can strike 4d for this coming saturday :X
had this feeling that i have never felt before.. it just feel like the scene is repeating and repeating all over again in my brain.. the place and the things that we said , are all in my brain.. it's really hard to get rid of it but i love it this way ;)
do i love you because it's from the bottom of my heart or i am just treating it as a want but not a need?
the weather is really damn hot. i have to switch on aircon every night when i sleep. how i wish i could live in japan!
this post is dedicated to my nanny.. i heard from my mum just now that my nanny miss me a lot when she chat with my mum.. at that moment , i could feel tears rolling in my eyes. i do not know how to explain that feeling because every time my mum visit her , she would ask where am i and she want to see me ... to be honest , i really love her a lot because since young she was the one hu took care of me ... most children are taken care by their parents but due to my both parents working when i was very young , she was the one who really show her love and care for me .. to other people she might be an ordinary person .. But to me , she is my superwoman . i will never forget how much time she spend on me and even using cane to beat me whenever i try to be funny .. now i have grown up , i should really spend more time to care about her . i feel really fortunate with many people who really cares about me .. my nanny , mum , god daddy . i love you all. =')
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4:40 PM
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7:54 AM
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life's great! because my exam have finally finished! hehehe now is 4.06am .. i just woke up because last night i did not sleep at all.. going jogging later on at 6am.. at least i can choose what i want to do now ^^
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1:05 PM
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last paper tomoro and everything will be over yay! i am trying to absorb in everything but it's too much!
i wont lose this battle until the end. even if it's end of the road , i will never lose. i still cant accept the fact that certain things which belongs to me have become to others.
just watched finish a movie. i dont know what it's about at first but my friend intro it to me. it's a chinese movie but i do not know how to read.. i think it's something like "duo ai" or watever. i only know the guy in the movie is guo pin chao. yea he is really handsome . overall , i think it's still not too bad and the girl in the movie is cute :X still got a few more days to my next paper so i am trying my best to make full use of the time and definitely i wont miss out my " entertainment " too :)
maybe i should put myself in her shoes. i should understand how she feel if the person were to be me.. i should not be so selfish. i should not torture her by looking for her.
it seem so fake but it's all real! i can still remember everything .. even a small little things that we did.. continue to ignore me . at least i will not feel guilty. 2005.
i am feeling fucking stress now.. i have no mood to care about other stuff.. all i want is for the time to pass .. i want all this to be over! sometime i really wish i could go with you to the place you are in right now ... but under certain circumstances , i cant because you know it's all history.. i dont know but whenever i am feeling stress up , i will think of you because only you are the one who can really give me the encouragement and confidence... dont ignore me please?
why are there so many prank videos around at fb??? i watch a couple of videos at facebook and almost all videos are trying to scare me zz .
finally i am getting iphone 4 next week! yes my mum say she will buy for me provided i must be obedient and not going out until late night... hahah dun worry i wont because exams are coming.. hehehe :D i just hope i do not have to wait too long for the stock ..
you must be surprise why my title is call samsung galaxy.. well , nth special about it , i am just advertising this phone for them because it's a really cool phone which is definitely more worth than iphone 4 in term of functions and the price of the phone... do check it out at singtel or samsung website. i am writing a short one before i go out in a few hours... i feel so pathetic.. i am having sore eye but i am still going out.. i should be staying at home and study! no worry no worry , i will study when i come back home =) yestarday went to watch yog volleyball matches ... at the start it was interesting but as time drag longer i can feel ache all over because i cant imagine myself sitting over there for 5 or 6 hours? that's insane. anyway , razer's new headset " orca " is really awesome... i am considering whether to get it because i am bored of using my earphone. some pictures taken yestarday...
my mum sounds like she is considering to get iphone 4 for me .. yay! i mean i can sense it because she has been asking me about the price of the phone... frankly speaking , i feel that the phone is a bit overprice but it's definitely a good phone because i tried it at singtel shop today =)
i am still considering whether i should get iphone 4 because my current phone is only 3 months old :X i feel that it will be a waste if i were to change phone at this point of time.. hmm i guess i will wait for a while more before i get it... it has been a really boring week for me because exam is coming soon :(
~~ is that really you? did you receive my message? i doubt so .
just reached home...yestarday went to yog event ... today?? went to play pool again =((( every friday is the day to play pool... seriously this kind of life is cool cool cool. some pictures taken at the yog scene..
didnt sleep for the whole night. it's not that i do not want to sleep... is i cant sleep at all!!! so ended up reading some stuff and watch movie until morning because i will be going to watch yog match... i know i cannot sleep because i will be in coma and eventually $30 ticket will be a waste :(
for your info , varsity's song is really awesome.. you should try to listen to their songs =)
my best lovely dog ... it's been 3 years since you leave me . you have been with me since i was pri 5 . we grew up together remember? you will forever be in my heart . i love you . rest in peace. :}
glory glory singapore ! all the best for yog ^^ i am feeling rather "happy" for this few days.. i do not know why :D i only know i have been dreaming of you for this few nights ... it must be a signal!
i have been repeating this over and over again... i will repeat again .. i want nobody else but you... can you hear it? can you?
sometime hard work alone is not enough... you need luck .... what can i say?? i am lack of luck... i feel rather moody actually because i put in effort and i did not get what i deserve. just felt really tired sometime.
alright. it seem like most of the work are done and i am not that stress anymore . clearing everything slowly one by one... it feels good to do your work and finish it asap because u will feel that sense of responsibility =)
time is priceless.. it seem like nothing is more important than time.. when u have time , u can complete everything that you need to do.. when u have time , u can earn as much money as possible.. i am now stuck ... i mean really STUCK.. i am racing against the time... how bad can it go? it seem like many many many things have yet to be done.. come on give me more time! i swear i will try my best to complete everything asap before i enjoy my coming holidays...
~~ did you ever miss me?
hello my blog.. it's been ages since i last update. many many things waiting for me to do which result in lesser time for me to go online... i have not been going online as frequent as the past but i will try to online more often... 3 more weeks to the exam period and i am waiting for it... i want to finish it asap... i have planned out what i have to do during the holidays and i guess it will be a really meaningful one for this coming holidays =) oh ya btw , my aunty saw my red hair and she say i look more like gangster ;( nooo is my hair really that "red" ??? i dont think so but i like the color :D ok time for dinner ^^ i will upload more pics when i am free bye bye.
feel so restless this few days.. i feel so lost... so many things yet to do. sometime i feel that i have been wasting a lot of my time... things arent going very well and i am here betting on soccer hoping to win ... i guess this is the kind of entertainment that i need in my life... if not , i am going to feel real bored . the one whom i treasure a lot has vanished long ago in my heart because i cant see anymore hope. i duno where i should start from .. everything is just NOT right..
~~ god if you can , just take me away ~~
~~ god if you can , just take me away ~~
arrrrr fuck! i want more holidays ! i enjoyed my holidays to the max and now i am getting used to it... nooooooo .... i enjoy every single time that i spent during my holidays... especially watching world cup! my mood now is on soccer and not school!! oh no what should i do man.. can the 5 weeks passed as quick as possible? i want my 1 month plus holidays ! i am ready to face any problem that are coming.. i know that certain things i still have to face it even if i avoid it. get ready to listen to the music in no time!
hatred. it happen to everyone. i am tired... just came back . time to refresh myself and get ready for a new day.
holidays... gonna settle all my stuffs. it still seem like something is missing... we have our own path.. maybe u will be more happy now.
tomorrow i am gonna wake up early because i have many things yet to do. yes it's the last day of school after tomorrow but during the holidays , i still have trip .. although it's the holidays but i guess my holidays will still be pack with many stuff but i am loving it =)
~~ i cant feel your presence anymore ~~
i will remember today's date. it's today that god brought us together. going through all those pictures in my ipod touch , i cant help but to think of those days that we had.. i am really happy during that period.. but it last for a while only... that's why all good thing comes to an end... but i really miss those days. ;(
somehow , i still feel that something is missing... it should not be like this. why?? why did things turn into this kind of situation?
even if god will to give me the entire world , i will not take it because i know i wont be happy. so if something does not belong to me in the first place , i should let it go.
hello.. 2 days didnt update so i would like to take this chance to update when i am free now ^^ many many entertainments for me for the past 2 days... and guess what?? i spend lot of $$ for this 2 weeks :( i am gonna save save save ... just had my dinner and i am damn full! i am currently reading some information regarding the ipad stuff... well , i feel that the device is not worth the money... for that $700 + i could get a laptop that can do even more tasks than the ipad... yes ipad might be cool but i would rather buy a laptop... it's almost the same as ipod touch just the upsize of an ipod touch... for those who think it's worth it , go ahead... for me , i will never buy it :) but one thing for sure , apple's company produce good stuff and i love their ipod touch and nano... it's really awesome!
finally i am able to sleep at least 8 hours today because tomoro is holiday! hehehe. :) i feel so lucky this few days... i donno why but i have this feeling that something good will be coming... i hope my feeling wont go wrong!
~~ i am contented as long as we had been together before , anyway it's even better for me now =) ~~
i lost my wallet today but in the end i still manage to get it back!!! lady's luck is on my side today whoooooooooo!
time flies. it's week 6 ... i cant wait for wed to pass! i want all the test to finish... i want to play without any stress arrrr ... BUT , i still feel great with everything yea =))
the more you say you are not gonna care , the more you will care. next time if you got no confidence in something , please do not promise anything. dont waste my time.
noises surrounding my place. human walking pass everywhere. it seem like i am staying in a place where there are fun and laughter.. i cant imagine one day if i were to move away from here.
if u will to ask me whether i am happy , my answer will be yes. if you will to ask me if i am sad , i will answer yes. why?? it's simple. it's part of human's emotion! no one will be happy forever neither one will be sad forever... no use being sad... what can you change? why not spend the time to think of ways to make yourself even more happy everyday... i have been in this " dream" for like so many years.. i have finally woke up from the dream and i know i should not be "dreaming" forever... i have totally given up. firstly , i am tired. secondly , i know it's impossible. human are only good at saying things like " i regret what i did" which includes me.... but you know what? i feel shameful of myself for saying this over and over again.. in the first place why did i do it?? so if you were to ask me what is the meaning of "life" this word , i will say " live for yourself" . do what you like as long as you think it's right.. what others say does not mean everything.. you have your own choice to decide what you want to do. treasure everyday and live happily everyday =)
~~ in the past i will choose to stay , but now there's no reason for me to stay "
have you ever wonder what do you really want? if you got no idea , you have to use the 8 steps of business ethics to solve it. get it? :X
~~ remember us , do you remember? ~~
~~ remember us , do you remember? ~~
i dream of you again last night.. it's so vivid that i can remember everything that you did. do you know how much i wish i could see you just for one time?
i wonder is my mind playing a trick on me ?? i got this weird feeling when ever i thought of someone.. it brings me back to the history.
everything is going well for the past few days. please continue this way and let me have some peace ^^
i like my ps3's wallpaper!
i like my ps3's wallpaper!
~~stop cheating yourself~~
tired... enjoyed my weekends to the max. night life and supper! haiz.. back to school again tomorow :(
~~ where are you? come back will you? ~~
~~ where are you? come back will you? ~~
fri has arrived again! finally can take a break because tomoro got no sch ^^ anyway i am tired of certain things... i think is enough for me.. really really enough.. i guess i really know what i want ... so please no more craps for me... i am happy with the way i am now and my life! :)
hello! i am back ... went out for the whole day .... bought present for mother's day... at first was thinking what to buy ... in the end went to sk jewellery and bought a necklace for my mum... i feel that the necklace is really really nice with the diamond and i believe that my mum will like it... so without any consideration , i bought it and the shop owner told me i am a good son and my mum will like it hahaha! i feel that it's all worth it even if it's expensive because nothing is more important than my mum. ^^ i feel great now because i feel that i have done something great.. after that , went to check out some phones at singtel's shop ... at first i wanted to get the iphone 16gb but i remember that my mum say that she will accompany me when she is free so i did not change my phone ... it's ok.. i am not in a rush anyway :) life is great if you did the right thing at the right time... to those selfish people who only thought about yourself first instead of helping others , you should do some reflection and ask yourself whether you are doing the right thing or not.
sleepy ..tired.. sleepy ... tired.... my psp is rotting ... i need more games! gonna get some games from my friends soon.... i am still considering whether to get iphone or blackberry... seriously both are good phones but what's the difference between this 2 phones i am not very sure... arrr nvm wait for a while first... after all i am not in a rush to change phone. school day has advantages and disadvantages.. the advantage is to get urself busy so that you will not think too much ... but the disadvantages is that u will not have a lot of time to really focus on something like playing games. hahaha.. anyway i have to go and bath ... good bye ^^
this post is specially for you... i received your sms today. i was really happy and we had a long long smses.. it goes to show how much u really treasure me.. to me , i find that the people in this society will not really show concern or even sms them in the first place ... but you are really different... maybe you have read my blog or what , you somehow seem to know how i am feeling everyday and eventually you will send a sms to me and ask about my personal life and show your care and concern.. seriously i appreciate it very much .. after so many years , i find that many people are too fake.. they wear a mask when they are talking to you but behind they became a totally different person.. u know i am starting to admire your character ... your concern is just simple yet sincere and most importantly you dont ask for any return. i can say that it's really hard to find such person or have they even extinct? therefore , to this special person you know who you are if you are reading , i want to thank you and i really dont want to lose you be it for now or in the future :)
coming to the end of the weekends again :( tomoro is the start a new week and back to school again arrrrr... i hate mon ! i love fri ^^ i have thought a lot for this period of time. i guess i know what i want.. but saying alone will not be enough .. let the action do the talking... but where should i start from??? everything is alright it's just that certain thing is really hard for me to let go.. the truth is i should give up and stop cheating myself but i just could not overcome this :(
at
3:31 AM
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i dreamt of something yestarday... i could still remember vividly when i woke up today.. i guess god dont want me to give up.. i will still continue to find you even if you are trying to avoid me although i am really tired of this.
by the way , this is what happened to my eye when i didnt take out my contact lenses for 3 days! lolol. it's even more red in realife.
by the way , this is what happened to my eye when i didnt take out my contact lenses for 3 days! lolol. it's even more red in realife.
just had my shower not long ago. waiting for my hair to dry.. waiting to play dota before i go to sleep. it seem like time pass really really fast if you are very engrossed in doing something. i mean it's like really FAST! when u are waiting for the time to pass like for example tutorial lesson or whatever , 10 min is just like 1 hour. but i remember vividly that someone told me before... time will not wait for anyone.. u are the one racing against the time and not the time racing against you. so whatever it is , treasure every single min and seconds with your loved one or even friends! by the way,to those people who bother to click on the nuffnang advertisement ... thank you very much... i appreciate that :D
at
8:39 AM
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0 Comments
here's a video of a lullaby piano piece which will make u sleep! yes i listen to this kind of music whenever i sleep so guys if u are suffering from insomnia you can try and listen to make yourself sleep! anyway guys, please help to click on the nuffnang advertisement before you leave alright ^^ thank ...
uncountable tasks. rushing here and there seem tired huh .
~~ i know it's impossible for me to forget after trying for so many years ~~
~~ i know it's impossible for me to forget after trying for so many years ~~
at
5:53 AM
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0 Comments
hello world! i am back .i am really really exhausted now . gonna take a rest before i go and shower... i am still thinking what phone should i get.. too many choices for me :( hai hai hai. sometime i feel tired of this kind of life.. have to put up a fake smile .. i dont like it. i just like to be myself ... but it seem like the environment is getting more and more complicated.. even I myself dun even know the reason.
i like you. i really do. many thought are running through my mind whenever i have information about you. you might have changed , but i have been waiting and waiting for so many years. i know it's impossible but i have never given up i should say. you were the one who grew up with me when we were young. i will never forget about it. i just want to tell you i am still concern about you.
good song =)
i like you. i really do. many thought are running through my mind whenever i have information about you. you might have changed , but i have been waiting and waiting for so many years. i know it's impossible but i have never given up i should say. you were the one who grew up with me when we were young. i will never forget about it. i just want to tell you i am still concern about you.
good song =)
lalalala.. time for a new phone! yes my contract is ending soon.. yay but i am still considering whether to get iphone... every 2 years you can change a new phone.. come on just get a decent phone and that would be enough!
hello! life's great for this few days.. it's been ages since i went out with my cousin.. weekends alright? :D i am so so blur... something happened but i wont say out because i am really a fool :x hahaha.
after so many times , i really know what i want. at least for this time i know what i want.. i am looking forward to the future.. all the past are just bullshit. i have long ago threw it all away =) from today onwards , i do what i like and i will continue to explore all different kind of things happening in this big big world.. i am not going to care so much about the past like seriously because i have dignity. so now , i will never let history repeat again. my chance will come soon =)
after so many times , i really know what i want. at least for this time i know what i want.. i am looking forward to the future.. all the past are just bullshit. i have long ago threw it all away =) from today onwards , i do what i like and i will continue to explore all different kind of things happening in this big big world.. i am not going to care so much about the past like seriously because i have dignity. so now , i will never let history repeat again. my chance will come soon =)
hello i am back from my grandpa's birthday party! the food was awesome but the price is way too expensive :X didnt really ate much as i was having sore throat and i am deciding whether to go and see a doctor.. it's been ages since i have really smoke. i dont want but i feel like. confusing huh? after the celebration , my uncle send me home with his new car.. yea it was a damn fucking GTR. that's why i say $$ is everything! the car was fast and the sound was like attracting other people's attention lol! but if you have a sport car, wunt you do it too? hahaha.. well well had a great time today and tomoro will be the first day of sch reopen :( hope everything will goes well..
i am back ^^ left 1 more day to the start of school.. well , i may feel sad as the good time is over.. but it could also be a good time for me to keep myself from thinking too much. you know in this world there are humans who dont bother and humans who think a lot.. and i belong to the one who think too much.. i know it wont benefit me but sometime you just cant stop yourself from thinking.. you will think of how much you regret doing this and not treasuring whatever stuff.. i have the idea of getting a job in the night when sch start so that i can stop myself from thinking too much and at the same time to train myself so that i am ready for future working life. whatever i did , i always analysis it carefully because i cant afford to make a mistake again.. never never again.
hello! had bak ku teh just now. it was awesome! but guess what? my throat hurt a lot now . i dont like the dry feeling.. feel so sucky.. anyway , left 2 more days to the starting of sch! well , i dont really want school to start because i want more holidays! hai.. i have to wait for the next sem again for my 1month plus holidays again... everything will be so different.. no more hanging out with friends as often :( arrr... i miss her like fuck!
hey yo! i am back ^^ the time seem to pass so slow today... i need to go back for injection again :( it's so fucking troublesome.. cant they just settle it once and for all? hai.. anyway , had a great time outside with shopping and movie! yes i spend a lot of money today because of food , movie and my new wallet!! but i never regret as you can see i spend within my limit.. so i guess i wont be spending for quite some time until when i have the resources again :D
it seem so near yet so far. i dont really understand you more and more.. i dont know what is stopping me but i guess i wont repeat my mistake again. But , i have found out that whenever i am not in a really good mood , she is the one there to talk to me and even sms me to ask me how i am feeling for this few days. a small action could actually enlighten someone. so please humans , try to show more concern towards your love one alright?
it seem so near yet so far. i dont really understand you more and more.. i dont know what is stopping me but i guess i wont repeat my mistake again. But , i have found out that whenever i am not in a really good mood , she is the one there to talk to me and even sms me to ask me how i am feeling for this few days. a small action could actually enlighten someone. so please humans , try to show more concern towards your love one alright?
why do i always hesitate whenever i comtemplate on something i want to do? it seem like my courage is no longer there.. i need to find back my own courage ! i dont want to be a coward neither do i want to be a loser. i have to learn how to decide what i really want before i do it. stop hesitating !
~~ i know you are good to me :D
~~ i know you are good to me :D
arrr i am fucking moody now. just came back.. i feel so tired so so tired . i need some games now!
~~ 4 years and still counting... where is your sight? ~~
~~ 4 years and still counting... where is your sight? ~~
hello! i am back home! it's raining heavily now... in the morning went for check up .. i swear the place is scary. why?? because everyone is coughing and that place was called disease center. wtf lol! it sound like i have disease too! had injection and i am gonna go back again in 3 days time.. i hate hospital :( well well well , just had a great laugh when my bro told me something.. he told me he went to disco last few day and he met a thai girl.. his friend was interested so he ask her to intro herself.. when it's his turn to intro he replied " hey call me XXX , 22, singapore boy and i love thailand a lot... next moment he ask her " eh your country now very chaotic right i saw from the news that many people in your country are dieing" .. the thai girl was furious and she eventually walk off. LOL it's like so funny who will talk about this kind of thing with a stranger. :X but but but , it was entertaining =) the weather is cooling now.. sudden urge to go for shower now! bye bye.
going out now... will update again when i come back! :) goodbye boys and girls. btw help me click on the nuffnang advertisement before you leave! i will appreciate it thank you :D
at
6:33 AM
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0 Comments
i love myself! i have no idea what i want now.. :( maybe one day i should leave this place and go to a new environment ^^^^ nothing is left waiting for me .
yoyo ! i am back!! out for the whole day but it was great... check up , shopping and supper! but but but, i have lot of extra $$ this week hehehe.. thank to my saving plan :X gonna continue this plan for this period... woooo.. i feel great with aircon! the weather is really damn hot.. can the weather just change for the better? seriously it suck to the core! hmm... maybe in the past i do not really understand you , but i do not want to know your true character because i am afraid i will feel disappointed. it's better that we keep silence because silence is golden! i guess that's quite true. god bless you!
i want my bro's LV belt =((( i love it to the max ! but i am not gonna spend so much $$ on it =( please give it to me hahaha!
at
5:46 AM
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0 Comments
hi guys... i am back again ^^^^ i dont feel like writing much today because i do not have the feel? so i am gonna end the post by putting up a chinese mv! this is the song which my friend has recommended to me although i dont really listen to chinese music. so here it is.
hi i am back home! it's 3.00am now.. went out with friends to east coast for drinking and of cause eat! i am very very tired now... just had my shower and i am gonna sleep soon while waiting for my hair to dry. i somehow love the weather today... it's cooling and my emotion is not that bad too. but , i still miss her a lot and she does not know about it. how do i put it in words to explain to her? i guess there is not a need to explain anyway.
~~ i feel contented with the things i have now but i feel guilty for the things i have done ~~
~~ i feel contented with the things i have now but i feel guilty for the things i have done ~~
just reach home again... i just feel a bit down... like seriously my emotion is taking over me. it's definitely not a good thing for me.. i dont like this feeling.. all i could say is that in this world i only believe in myself. whatever people say , i will just listen that's of course but to certain limit.. i know what i want and what i inspired to do. i just feel a bit emo.. A BIT. it's time for me to get a good sleep and refresh my mind.. good night guys! here's a chinese song which i personally feel that it's nice and emo!
hi! i am back home! went queenstown today... boring yet fun :X i am very very tired now... school is starting in around 2 to 3 weeks time?? nooo i want more holidays please... i have not enjoy enough !
when sch start , i bet my life will be so boring =( study study and study arrr... i am gonna find 1 day to go clubbing! soon...
~~ i still duno what i want seriously. ~~
at
5:47 AM
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0 Comments
hi humans! i had a great nightmare yestarday... i dream of myself being stuck in a jungle lol! that's weird but yet interesting :xx hahaha i love dreaming because i have been dreaming for my whole entire life... hahaa ok i am going to take a shower before i go out bye bye ^^
~~ the image will never vanish ~~
hello! just came back from johor with my uncle ... went to buy a lot of things ... can you imagine that we lost our way in johor :X becos i am singaporean so i don't really know their way to the shopping centre... what can i say?? i still prefer singapore :X although the stuff over there are cheaper , but i still feel that singapore has more different kind of wallets and bags... i am planning to get a new wallet real soon... hmm .. off to take a shower!
~~ ** , i know you hate me ~~
the feeling is really different.. really really different... it's not the kind of feeling that i really want.. where has this feeling gone to? i dont think i am happy with it. but i have got no choice because this is life. i have to accept it. i realise about many things regarding this society... i swear to the god that i will try my best and do well in whatever i did and i want to ensure that my bright future is waiting for me.. i will prove it instead of words. i dont need to show it to anyone.. i just want to prove to myself that i can do it and i WILL do it.
~~ come back will you? ~~
life's aren't that great this few days... cockroach attack again =( it ran to my brother's room.. who cares?? :XX seriously , sometime when i thought about certain things , i realise that many things should not have been done in the first place but i still went to do it... it's kind of funny huh? sometime i do not know what i want too ... that's when i start to mess up everything and eventually things get out of hands. when i tried to solve the problem , it seem like everything is against me... fuck this shit. come on just let the 2 years pass and finish my army asap ... i want to start work asap .. i know it's not easy out there but i am willing to work hard for it... at least i need something for me to focus on so that i wont feel troubled over all small things. it's kinda pathetic... humans are not perfect. i believe that one day when i get older , i will realise that whatever stuff i did now was all wrong in the first place.. but i just want to have some "childhood" ... it's like a child without any childhood is as good as not leading a meaningful life. in a nutshell , i just want to do things that i want now when i have the ability to do so.. soon , all this "good" time will be over... soon...
below is the lyrics for the song baby steps! i love this song to the max!
(Ohh) (Yeah yeah)
Admit it, we're finished
You don't want me no more (No)
Like a night mare, I lived it
It was too big to ignore (Ooh)
I hear the sirens but they pass me by.
My hazard lights are flashing, somebody, anyone
HELP cause its an emergency.
Someone just wounded my heart.
So HELP, its like a bad surgery and now its time to recharge.
I'm starting over taking,
One, two, baby steps.
Three, four, baby steps.
Five, six, baby steps.
I'm starting over again.
Abandonded, yeah I'm crying.
Its like you left me for dead (So dead, so dead)
I'm so broken, my love's frozen.
How do you live with regrets (Oh woah)
I see the memories flash before my eyes.
My tank is running empty, somebody rescue me.
HELP cause its an emergency.
Someone just wounded my heart.
So HELP, its like a bad surgery
And now its time to recharge.
I'm starting over taking,
One, two, baby steps.
Three, four, baby steps.
Five, six, baby steps.
I'm starting over taking,
One, two, baby steps.
Three, four, baby steps.
Five, six, baby steps.
I'm starting over again.
Its unexplainable
Kind of and unattainable
When the person you love aint enough.
I feel so pitiful
Look at my face you'll know the pain is in my eyes.
I need some, help.
HELP cause its an emergency.
Someone just wounded my heart.
So HELP its like a bad surgery and now its time to recharge.
HELP cause its an emergency.
Someone just wounded my heart.
So HELP its like a bad surgery and now its time to recharge.
I'm starting over taking,
One, two, baby steps.
Three, four, baby steps.
Five, six, baby steps.
I'm starting over again.
I'm starting over taking,
One, two, baby steps.
Three, four, baby steps.
Five, six, baby steps.
I'm starting over again.
(Ohh) (Yeah yeah)
Admit it, we're finished
You don't want me no more (No)
Like a night mare, I lived it
It was too big to ignore (Ooh)
I hear the sirens but they pass me by.
My hazard lights are flashing, somebody, anyone
HELP cause its an emergency.
Someone just wounded my heart.
So HELP, its like a bad surgery and now its time to recharge.
I'm starting over taking,
One, two, baby steps.
Three, four, baby steps.
Five, six, baby steps.
I'm starting over again.
Abandonded, yeah I'm crying.
Its like you left me for dead (So dead, so dead)
I'm so broken, my love's frozen.
How do you live with regrets (Oh woah)
I see the memories flash before my eyes.
My tank is running empty, somebody rescue me.
HELP cause its an emergency.
Someone just wounded my heart.
So HELP, its like a bad surgery
And now its time to recharge.
I'm starting over taking,
One, two, baby steps.
Three, four, baby steps.
Five, six, baby steps.
I'm starting over taking,
One, two, baby steps.
Three, four, baby steps.
Five, six, baby steps.
I'm starting over again.
Its unexplainable
Kind of and unattainable
When the person you love aint enough.
I feel so pitiful
Look at my face you'll know the pain is in my eyes.
I need some, help.
HELP cause its an emergency.
Someone just wounded my heart.
So HELP its like a bad surgery and now its time to recharge.
HELP cause its an emergency.
Someone just wounded my heart.
So HELP its like a bad surgery and now its time to recharge.
I'm starting over taking,
One, two, baby steps.
Three, four, baby steps.
Five, six, baby steps.
I'm starting over again.
I'm starting over taking,
One, two, baby steps.
Three, four, baby steps.
Five, six, baby steps.
I'm starting over again.
at
2:18 AM
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0 Comments
hello! i am back from jogging ^^ wake up in the morning .. ate some breadfast and help to clean the house before i went out... actually today i wanted to rest but my friend ask me to accompany him to collect his pay... so as a loyal friend , i did :X after that , went for shopping until 5+ and went straight home to change ... went for jogging at around 6.30pm as the weather was not hot at all.. had my great time exercising at amk park and went off at around 8 and immediately go for shower when i reached home.. what a great day right?? i feel so refresh now because exercising is good for health ^^ i feel much better... but i still miss you.
~~ i must reach my target ! ~~
so many things running through my mind right now... it seem like i have not completed something... seriously , the amount of fun that i had is way enough for me... maybe it's time to really do something to contribute to the society... i just have the urge to really do something meaningful... i have miss out lot of things in the past but at the same time it gave me a motivation to learn from it and eventually complete those things that i had neglected... not only that , i realise that i have never forgot about you at all.. no matter who i am with , you are still the one i always thought of.. the only thing i could do is to avoid and avoid.. i cant really think of other ways anymore.. i need to reach my goal and i should stop spending! i am tired =(
~~ all i ask for is your smile , nth much more ~~
hello!!! i am back ! i miss home! hahahaha.. went to eat supper with friends... seriously , i will get fat soon if i continue to eat supper everytime haha... woke up early in the morning just to check my result lolol. hmmm not very good but not very bad... 3.1 ... to me is good enough becos i am a slacker! i am feeling so full now... when i reached home , my mum force me to eat pizza too because she say that throwing it away is as good as throwing money away ... i had no choice but to help and clear the food... i am fucking full now! i am planning to go shopping soon again to get the things i want! maybe next week?? i just love my life now! come on introduce more music to me babe..
guess what is the time now??? 5am!!! everyone is sleeping while i am still awake... not because i cant slp ... i am busy killing cockroach! lol!! found 1 cockroach on the floor but when i tried to kill it, it ran to hide =(( i cant really sleep with a cockroach hiding inside my room.. i am a clean freak come on! fuck cockroach! i feel like a fool waiting for the cockroach to come out ... pathetic shit !
at
6:54 AM
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0 Comments
hey hey hey! hello! i am back from bbq! lot of exciting activities and i had a great great day over there... although i left early ... at around 8++ ??? but the food was really nice... wanted to head home straight after the bbq event as i wanted to watch the charity show! we are a bunch of lucky people with healthy body! we must really take care of our own health and i feel guilty saying this becos i have been drinking and .... smoking :X hehe next week meeting emogirl again ... i know she miss me and she wanted to watch movie with me so much hahaha.. ok as promise , see u next week! now , i seriously want to learn piano ... i love music and i am really interested to learn! someone teach me please? i will be a very good student :X
~~ where have you been? where have u gone to? ~~
just to keep this dead blog alive so here i am to post 1 picture for fun?? :XX going out now goodbye! bbq again tomoro!
~~ is it really that hard to put everything behind? ~~
cool morning with raining cats and dogs.. it feel so good as the weather has been very hot for this few months ... even when i sleep every night , i have to switch on aircon... had a really good sleep last night as i was really very tired.. slept at around 8.55pm ?? next bbq event coming up =((( goodbye to my throat. enjoy myself baby!
~~ miss ya~~
~~ miss ya~~
let me begin my post by praising emogirl for being such a good cooker :X yes went to her house today with her cousin as she say that she want us to be her "sample" ... lol well, the food was not bad! seriously , u are good enough to be a chief * roll eyes*
had a great day at her house and we watch movie until 6+ ?? after that we went for dinner at the nearby market and off i go! so now i just had my shower and online! time for some games!
~~ reality is cruel ~~
had a great day at her house and we watch movie until 6+ ?? after that we went for dinner at the nearby market and off i go! so now i just had my shower and online! time for some games!
~~ reality is cruel ~~
at
2:23 AM
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0 Comments
just reached home.. i am tired.. really fucking tired. i wish that i could fall asleep and never wake up. btw , thank for being there o. i will treat *** well.
it seem so near yet so far.. when u are right here , i could not bring myself to open my mouth.. when u are gone , i have so much to say to you. when will human really treasure something before they are gone? i am no way better than anyone . i have taken for granted many many things in the past and i am sure that those thing will never come back anymore.. should i be sad over the past or should i be happy for the future? it's for me to know and for you to find out =) people , treasure everything that is around you before they are gone! step by step , i will be able to prove that time will heal everything but the memories will never vanished. i love you.
hello! i jus reached home at around 3.30am ... had a great day for the bbq event... seriously it's fun but i did not get drunk!! hhahaa the reason is becos i have to take care of other people when they are drunk... frankly speaking , it's good to actually gather with ur friends for such event once in a while... it's like so cool and fun ^^ apart from that , i still think about the things that i should not even think about it.. i always say that i can forget the past and look forward... yes i did look forward but forgetting is really way too hard for me... whenever i sit down , the first thing in my mind was about you.. i told myself that i will never turn back... but when i miss her and i cant do anything , it's really really miserable.. i really hope i can use alcohol to make myself numb but i cant always do that... maybe some people say i am like a playboy or what i dun care ... whenever i get to sleep , the first person i thought of is you.. i am a human too i have feeling ... so i will never forget the past be it memories or the time that we spend together .. i really hope that u will stay happy be it now or in the future and i wish you all the best in whatever you do .. i will never forget you . let me just get on with the life that i am leading now... it would be better for us =)
~~ i tried but i fail ~~
~~ i tried but i fail ~~
at
6:08 AM
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0 Comments
a cool and peaceful day for me ... more events coming up ... time is really running up... it seem like 24 hours a day is not enough for me... i need a time machine ... hmm ... on sat bbq event , i hope that i can really stop drinking becos i drink for a reason.. but i do not want to always drink when i am feeling down or what... and seriously i can feel that it's not good for my health.. but why do i still do it? i duno sometime is becos of temptation... but i really hope that i can stop all those things that will cause damage to my body. but sometime when you are feeling down , you would not really think so much about it ... that's me .. i do what i wan .. i do what i like.. but that's a limit to everything .. i just want to forget all the stuffs .. i do not want to turn back anymore.
~~ i have everything that i need and i treasure what i have now ~~
~~ i have everything that i need and i treasure what i have now ~~
i have spent a lot of money this few days on buffet , bbq , entertainment activities ... and and and , i bought an ipod today ... so u can imagine how much i have spent within this few days! i am not gonna spend money for the rest of the days :XX
today is her birthday .... i still remember even if it's 5 years , 6 years or 7 years ... i will always remember march 9 is her birthday but i dunno how am i going to wish her happy birthday? hai.
yoyoyoyo! i am back! went to bugis , friend's hse and slack with my friends ! hahaha i am really tired... tomoro morning have to get up early for soccer match at east coast =( today spend quite a lot of $$$ becos i bought some shirts for myself.. next wishlist is ipod 16gb lol! my psp sound system got problem! i need music badly ... other than using computer to listen to music , i need it too when i am outside... should i buy the 16gb ipod nano??? let me consider for a while first ^^ i am enjoying my sweet now while typing hehehe.. i guess i have to really stop spending $$ becos there will be more bbq event coming up which needs a lot of $$$ ... and and and , i sld stop drinking for a while becos i am like a clown when i am drunk! hahahha.. anyway i really enjoy my holidays and hope that my exam results will be acceptable ^^
~~ how should i start a conversation with you? ~~
~~ how should i start a conversation with you? ~~
money money money!! more more more =) yea my exam has finally finished! i am feeling so relax now hahahaha... i can do what i like , go where i wan and drink whenever i want! muhahaha i feel like i am like a bird release from the cage ... time for more shopping ! lalalal ... just reached home.. had a fun day outside!!! i am off to play cs! bye bye...
take a look at the views! 133 million lol.... last paper and my freedom is back! =)))) time for some shopping spree soon!
~~ i saw her today! ~~
hello... jus reached home.. tried to study but nth goes in =( it's so fucking complicated that i lost the mood to continue my work... as a result , i went out with her for a while as her exam was over and i wanted to go shopping too.. had a great time together but i spend a lot of $$ .. watever it is , i feel that it's all worth it ...
~~ i will treat myself better starting from now ~~
~~ i will treat myself better starting from now ~~
2 more papers to go and freedom will be here! jiayou! the past will be the past ... =)
~~ she is loved ~~
kit , the rev will find me tonight .. do u know about that ??? hahahaha ... i am tired tired tired tired.... exams are coming and i am still playing lol... i dun care! i can do it! lol.. a boring yet a fun dayy ... i hate the video on facebook.. i look so fucking retarded lol! i wan exam to be over over over over! here's a picture of me with make up LOL! during cny when i was bored and i play with my mum's cosmetics stuff ^^
hello! how is everyone doing??? today is a good day for me becos i am studying ! hahaha. yestarday was really a bad day for me.. got a really bad scolding from my mum when i came home becos i was drunk??? sorry barry and jo! and she was fucking angry with me ... i need to do some reflection =( this morning when i woke up , i feel that many things had happened but i just could not really remember some of the things that i did.. watever ....
everything seem better now.. at least both of us feel great right? haha i dun ask for much... let's just treat the past as memories and look forward! i believe u will give me your moral support ^^ hehe off to call someone **
everything seem better now.. at least both of us feel great right? haha i dun ask for much... let's just treat the past as memories and look forward! i believe u will give me your moral support ^^ hehe off to call someone **
hello! i am done with collecting my ang bao hahahah! well not too bad .. this year is really a good year for me hahaha =) had lot of fun during the cny and many exciting event ... well , it's almost over soon... and we will have to wait until next year.. i feel that i am like racing with the time.. becos watever i do , i feel that time is not enough for me. it seem like many many things has yet to be done but i am still wasting my fucking time.. exams are coming soon.. if u ask me whether i have studied for it ... i can only say i have read through it but i could not really understand the concept very well .. watever it is , all the best to me muhahahaha.
did i really change a lot?? i am wondering ... how was i in the past?? i have never really spend some time to understand myself well enough ... maybe in the past i am better .. but i am no longer the one in the past.. certain things dun have to be so serious ... after all this is life! i play , i laugh , i sleep , i work and i am no different from any normal human being.. look forward , never turn back anymore.. i have seem enough all this while. i am starting my new life ~~~~~ bye bye =)
did i really change a lot?? i am wondering ... how was i in the past?? i have never really spend some time to understand myself well enough ... maybe in the past i am better .. but i am no longer the one in the past.. certain things dun have to be so serious ... after all this is life! i play , i laugh , i sleep , i work and i am no different from any normal human being.. look forward , never turn back anymore.. i have seem enough all this while. i am starting my new life ~~~~~ bye bye =)
i am back! anyone miss me?? lolol... yes finish collecting my ang bao haha.. had dinner just now and it was awesome! i am starting to accept it.. i am starting to get used to it.. soon everything will be over .. and new life for me... btw charmaine good luck having fun overseas alright.. thank for msging me in the morning to let me know u are going off.. rmb to sms me when u are back =)
i am going off after writing .. i am currently at relative's hse... what can i say?? boring boring! my cousin is with me now.. without her , i think i will be bored to death.. adult always mahjong mahjong lolol.. well , i take my ang bao oredi.. time for me to go lol! i will learn to take pride in everything... since it's impossible now...
at
12:46 AM
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the main problem with myself is that i did not spare a thought for *** i sld have found out that i sld not give any false hope and continue to make mistake over and over again .. i sld really spare a thought for *** i am gonna ignore all the calls and sms from ******* .. go away .
at
7:54 AM
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everything is clear bla bla bla.... one person cannot do anything wrong becos there's no turning back anymore.. haha so true that one of my friend said " human are selfish , they think for themselves and whatever stuff they have encounter in the past " .. haha since i have oredi reach until this extend , i will just continue to do what i like .... i will play , i will study i will complete all the things that i need to get it done... and i will be a more open minded person... i dun care hu it is , as long as we can communicate mean we can be friends too ... i must think for myself first next time ... becos no one will give a damn about ur life hahah! i love myself!
i am back home! a tired day for me.. went to places like orchard , dobby and novena lolol.. well , it was a fun day anyway.. get my ear stud and wanted to buy jacket... but in the end couldnt find until any suitable one for me :X i found out that i am like a robot this few days... why? becos i only slept a few hours lol.. i guess there are many things waiting for me to do it but i just need more time ... everything is ok .. everything is alright ... at least it's much much better now... i dun have to hesitate to do it or not.. i hope that my choice is the right decision... although i still feel a bit ***** but what can i do? i cant do anything ... so the only thing i could do now is to accept it.. watever blablabla... i am freakin tired now.. i need to bath and have a good sleep tonight =) * my
feeling has not faded away*
i am feeling so relieved today! my presentation has finally finished... overall , i feel that it's still ok.. i need more time to do the things that i wan.. kit , let's meet in heaven together and meet the rev to start our a8x band lolol! i am totally crazy now! i have the urge to drink badly.. i am addicted to it =( i need a brainwash ...i want to forget everything in the past.. it feels so miserable that i couldnt do anything now.. sld i or sld i not???
what sld i do?? what sld i do?? sld i just ignore everything and pretend that i do not know anything?? ahh god tell me what sld i do... although it's the past , but i still care. i really do =(
firstly , i would to thank god ... why?? last few days i was having a very serious gastric pain... i told myself and to my mum that if i recover and totally no pain anymore , i will not drink anymore or touch other stuff... and today i am really feeling much much better ... so i think i wunt drink anymore next time ba.. cny is coming.. i want to be healthy and stay away from all the trouble.. it feels great now.. i am not feeling pain anymore!! =)) in the afternoon , went to do my project and presentation is coming in 2 days time.. hope it will be a successful one.. bla bla bla.. everything seem to be so wonderful now ^^^ only 1 thing that i cant put behind is *** .. i duno what can i do because it's all over.. but i dun deny that i still **** her.
at
4:03 AM
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hello blog! i am worried .. worried about my health. until now , my gastric is still there.. i am starting to wonder if i have drank too much alcohol like vodka whisky or watever... becos i told my mum the truth that i had been drinking quite a lot for the past few weeks.. she did not scold me.. instead , she is going to accompany me to the hospital for checkup to see whether there is anything wrong with my gastric.. i am really worried that there is some problem with my gastric.. god bless me and hope everything will be fine.. if i were to recover tomoro , i promise god that i wunt drink too much anymore... tomoro after that , i still have to do project.. what to do , left 2 more days to presentation.. i have no choice ... just try my best ba. good luck to me and hope everything will be fine ^.^
i am back from gatherin with friends! yes i am really tired.. really really tired... last few night was having gastric pain to the extent that i could not really slp well.. i guess today i can have a peaceful sleep becos i drank a bit of beer ... i want to forget everything .. where the fuck have i done wrong? where?? tell me... i wan to be drunk and get away from this selfish world.. people love themselves more than anything else.. hahaha! so true. tomoro i am going church .. i hope i will be able to wake up and totally forget about all the stuffs! if i could , i would like to get drunk every night .
~~ i feel that everything sux in this world ~~
~~ i feel that everything sux in this world ~~
having this gastric pain for the whole day since last night.. i was really having a bad pain that i couldnt sleep... this morning when i woke up , i wanted to go to sch early but i could not because it was so pain that i couldnt walk.. i told my mum and she ask me what have i eat the day before.. actually i dun really know what is wrong.. and i joke with her by saying " i did many bad things that's why i have to go through this pain" .... anyway , later i will be going to see a doctor because i am worried that the pain wunt go away.. i am wondering , issit becos of the panadol? i duno i just need some treatment! today jus finish my IS law test ... it was still ok and next coming up is java presentation.. although i feel like giving up , but it's coming to an end so the only thing i could do is just to try my best.. study break coming soon ! treasure the days i have before it's gone...
~~ must it turn out this way? ~~
~~ must it turn out this way? ~~
at
4:06 AM
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hello! i am back home. gonna study for tomoro test later.. IS LAW! left 1 more weeks to the holidays.. and what i mean by holiday is study break. of cuz there will be revision and so on but it will be as intensive as this few weeks. all i can say is perseverance is the key to success! i just hope to do my best and that's it. after sch. went to find kit and went to orchard to see whether there are any things that i can buy. juewen came and we walk around and find that there is nothing special! lolol.. and btw , cj is fucking cute... first time piercing his ear and his ear was as red as an apple hahaha! overall , it was still a good day for me... after shopping , juewen drive me home and i am gonna study soon after writing ... bla bla bla.. received a model advertising name card from a lady today at orchard .. i guess i will call the company to see if i can work there after my exams are over. i want to focus on something and do things that i like so that i wunt remember all the sad memories and all the fucking stuff . i want to be myself. i want to do what i like! and ya i forgot this coming sat i am going church with my auntie lolol! gonna hear their lecture lesson again zzz.... before i end i would like to post 3 interesting pictures lol!
many stuffs to be done this week... presentation and many more.. however , it mean that holidays are coming soon ! yes right after the cny it will be my exam.. after my exam , that's it ! freedom! haha .. i tried to focus on my work.. i tried not to think too much.. because after all life still have to go on.. although i am not really in a very good mood , at least i still have the mood to do my work. watever it is , sorry for all the stuff i did again.. although i feel that there is some misunderstanding but i guess it's not that important anymore now. fan zhen ni dou bu ting wo jie shi.. forget it .. at first i really don't want to give up.. but now , i think for quite a while too and i feel that it's better for the both of us ba. u do what u like. i do what i like.. after all i am the bad guy so let me continue this way ba.. frankly speaking , i cant face you so i cant really be friend with you.. give me some time maybe we can still continue to be friend ba. ^^ good luck and study hard ^^
